I love good humor and funny stories. Some of my favorite evenings have been sitting around with other church folks telling ‘church stories.’ These are stories that may not be funny to people who don’t understand this kind of humor, but for serious church folk, these stories are hilarious! Unfortunately, the stories also carry with them some amount of deep pain for some individuals who were involved. Some stories involve people who were out of control, mentally ill or addicted to certain behavior. Some of the best stories I tell on myself and, even then, I have waited to tell the story until the sting of embarrassment or the haunt of stupidity has passed. What I find is that we all have these stories because we all make mistakes and we all deal with difficult people.
One of my favorite cartoons I keep in my kitchen is a far side cartoon in which God is in the kitchen creating the world. Above him on the spice rack are things like animals, special plants and ocean life and God is reaching for a bottle with the label: jerks. The title below the cartoon reads: Now, just to make it interesting!
I confess, sometimes I write people off as just that: Jerks. When I have been hurt or ignored by someone I don’t what them to ‘get under my skin’ or ‘take up residence in my brain’ and so I write them off as ‘jerks.’ Then of course God has to weigh in on this little habit of mine and an old quote came up from seemingly no where. It is from Dutch priest and writer Henri Nouwen as he was leading a conference for clergy:
One of the essential qualities of creating community…is not to judge. Do not even in your heart figure out, ‘He’s just a jerk.’ Try to get beyond that. As soon as you start dividing your (community) into jerks and non-jerks, you’re lost, because community is primarily and interior thing. Everybody has to have a space inside you….That doesn’t mean you have to be stupid and let everybody walk over you. There should be compassion. People have to know that in your heart that there is a space for them. (Never call them Jerks, Arthur Paul Boers, p.14)
It feels very vulnerable to let people who can be angry, abusive and downright mean close to us, but, I don’t think that is what Nouwen is speaking about in this instance. We all have acquaintances that we avoid and ridicule because they are people who bother us, say rude things or inhibit our actions in some way or another. It is easy to write them off, but, perhaps the action we are being called to is more powerful than that and requires something more from us. Perhaps by telling them how their actions have effected us we end up building up the community rather than dividing it. We can’t really change people, but, we can allow them an insight if we want to take the time. Maybe time is a small price to pay for being the Body of Christ.
One of my favorite cartoons I keep in my kitchen is a far side cartoon in which God is in the kitchen creating the world. Above him on the spice rack are things like animals, special plants and ocean life and God is reaching for a bottle with the label: jerks. The title below the cartoon reads: Now, just to make it interesting!
I confess, sometimes I write people off as just that: Jerks. When I have been hurt or ignored by someone I don’t what them to ‘get under my skin’ or ‘take up residence in my brain’ and so I write them off as ‘jerks.’ Then of course God has to weigh in on this little habit of mine and an old quote came up from seemingly no where. It is from Dutch priest and writer Henri Nouwen as he was leading a conference for clergy:
One of the essential qualities of creating community…is not to judge. Do not even in your heart figure out, ‘He’s just a jerk.’ Try to get beyond that. As soon as you start dividing your (community) into jerks and non-jerks, you’re lost, because community is primarily and interior thing. Everybody has to have a space inside you….That doesn’t mean you have to be stupid and let everybody walk over you. There should be compassion. People have to know that in your heart that there is a space for them. (Never call them Jerks, Arthur Paul Boers, p.14)
It feels very vulnerable to let people who can be angry, abusive and downright mean close to us, but, I don’t think that is what Nouwen is speaking about in this instance. We all have acquaintances that we avoid and ridicule because they are people who bother us, say rude things or inhibit our actions in some way or another. It is easy to write them off, but, perhaps the action we are being called to is more powerful than that and requires something more from us. Perhaps by telling them how their actions have effected us we end up building up the community rather than dividing it. We can’t really change people, but, we can allow them an insight if we want to take the time. Maybe time is a small price to pay for being the Body of Christ.
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