June 3 Journal

I was listening to a discussion about brain surgery this week and was fascinated to learn that the brain does not feel pain:

The brain receives pain from the rest of the system said the doctor giving the interview but the brain, itself, does not feel pain.

It seemed like a very profound statement to me. The brain isn’t able to see itself even though it is able to monitor every other system around it. Just think about how close the eye is to the brain and it can sense pain in the eye. The brain, like individuals, has a difficult time with a self image. When I was a young adult, I was walking down the street and noticed that a woman on the other side of the street. She looked remarkably like my mother; she had the same cadence, body type and mannerism as my mother and I couldn’t believe the resemblance. To my horror I realized that I was looking at my own reflection in the windows across the street. It was only when I didn’t think I was looking at my own self that I was able to see the resemblance between my mother and me. We just really don’t see ourselves for who we really are. We seem to think we know ourselves, but, in reality there is a part of us that is only seen when we inadvertently step outside of ourselves and see ourselves.

This past week I was reminded of a graph that is used to discuss our knowledge of ourselves. It is called the Johari window and it looks like this:


Known to Non Known
self to self

Known to
others


Not known
To others



Essentially this reminds us of the fact that there is a place in our lives that is unknown to us and unknown to others. That place is what speaks when ‘something just doesn’t sit right with us’ or when we react to something with such vehemence that we surprise even ourselves. Even those who strive for self-knowledge and transcendence never fully understand their own psyche. Social Scientists call this the ‘unknown’ area of ourselves, but, others call it the God known part of us. The God who created us knows we are but flesh a breath that goes forth and does not return (Psalm 78:39).

Faith communities, also, have difficulty in seeing themselves. They may think of themselves as warm, open and receiving of visitors, yet, the experience of visitors may tell them the opposite. Those sort of ‘blind’ parts of self-knowledge can be helped if a parish truly wants to attract other members and is perplexed as to why visitors don’t stay after a few visits. Yet, there is, also, this unknown quality of a faith community that is only known to God. I am reminded of a parish that was thought to be rather stuffy and elite. The community thought of this parish in this manner and the parish prided itself as being a place where ‘good’ people belonged. It surprised everyone, then, when they embraced and welcomed a young man who was ostracized by the local community after being diagnosed with AIDS. The young man was not wealthy, of the ‘right’ family or any of the qualities that this congregation might find particularly attractive. This congregation surprised even itself when it voted to support an AIDS ministry task force. Who knew this congregation had it in itself to actually be Christian!

Well there are hundreds of examples of this sort of lack of self knowledge. As I am writing this a flood of memories come to mind with individuals and parishes that have surprised themselves and me with reactions and actions that only God knew were there.

Coming back from this conference I stopped in a favorite coffee haunt of mine. As I was getting a top for my coffee cup I overheard a conversation. One woman said to the other: I don’t know, I just don’t have it in me to make a move at this time. As I got in the car I wondered how she could be so sure she ‘didn’t have it in her.’ Seems to me that God is really the only one who can be certain if we have it in us or not.


What do you think?