Whose life are we leading?

How scary it is that what we don’t join in the surprising adventures of this journey, our children will need to do, for they will be limited by our own sad example, or overwhelmed by having to do it for us. James Hollis, PhD The Second Half of Life.

When I am not actively engaged in parish ministry I like to take the time to read things I would not normally read. When I visited Calvary Episcopal Church a few Sundays ago I attended a class entitled: The Second Half of Life. I picked up the book they were reading by the same name written by James Hollis, PhD. Hollis is a Jungian Analyst who reflects upon our subconscious motivations and how they are played out as we live our life. While I believe we have these unconscious motivations and I believe they have a great impact on our life, in order for them to be ultimately useful I need to put them into the context of my life of faith.

Whose life are you leading? is the question this author asks us. How much of what I did in pushing the limits and traveling to unknown lands was compensation for (my fathers) unlived life, or more precisely, an over compensation to help redeem the oppression of his life.

This led me to the passage from Exodus (20: 5-6)
You shall not bow down to (idols) or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, 6but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation* of those who love me and keep my commandments.

The fact is that our parents have a great deal of effect on our life. For those of us who have a healthy respect for the subconscious we understand that much of what we do, especially early on in our life, was to seek our parents’ approval or to rebel against the life we found suffocating. Once we recognize that our relationship with our parents had a significant impact on who we are, the newer question for us becomes: So What?

Jesus, in his teachings, is frequently telling us that we need to make a decision. That is, whether to live into the new life or to sink back into the comfort of the old familiar life. Being aware of what sort of impact our parents had on our belief in God helps us make a mature decision about the faith that will give us meaning and wholeness. As adults we can make a mature decision (most times) about what we believe to be true and who Christ is for us. I do not believe that God punishes us for the lack of faith of our parents, but, we can certainly live out a life of fear or depression if we blindly accept what our parents believed or if we blindly rebel against their beliefs.

At some point we all need to answer this question: Whose life are we leading and what do we want our life to mean? If we fail to make the choice, the choice will be made for us and we will fall into severe depression or anxiety. We can spend our whole life trying to please children, spouse, parents or the public and it will be a never ending cycle of failure. Or we can decide that God has put us here on this earth with certain talents, abilities and sensitivities that are unique to each of us. When we enter into this intimate relationship with our creator and savior then life begins to take on a whole new meaning. Sure we will all do some things because we know it will please our children, spouse or colleague, but, we will not live our life for it.

In my other church adventures I went to a Sunday class at Church of the Holy Communion entitled: What gives us hope? Here is a letter that was handed out by one of the panelists and I found it very inspiring.

Letter to a Young Activist During Troubled Times
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts adding. adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take “everyone on Earth” to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.
One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do,
There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. . . In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.